Everything's perfect, almost
by Ilikefairylights
Summary: They were out of the way, behind one of the huge pumpkins, in the part of the hall nobody could see, but they were dancing. RL/SB slash, James' point of view. M for language.


It was the best thing you've ever seen, you think. The best fucking thing ever. They were out of the way, behind one of the huge pumpkins, in the part of the hall nobody could see, but they were dancing. You couldn't stop grinning, and neither could Lily, and you've always loved her smile and it was so fucking amazing. And it made you think, if they can do it, why not me, and finally, finally you think she's close to saying yes. And the two of you just watched for a moment, and as they danced you caught a glimpse of Sirius' face, and in all the years you've been his friend you've never seen him looking so contented, so happy. And if you were less manly, it might have brought a tear to your eye, but you're James Potter, so of course there were no tears. Then Lily nudged your side with her elbow, and murmured that maybe you should leave them and carry on dancing, or fulfilling Heads' duties and all that.

You were surprised, at first, but only because Sirius is such a ridiculous flirt and has had a constant stream of girlfriends and admirers since he was about twelve, and Remus has never shown any interest in anyone whatsoever. You didn't expect it and it never crossed your mind, but now that it's happened it's completely obvious and you don't know how you missed it before. For a while they didn't tell you, but you and Pete could both see that there was some sort of secret, the way they looked at each other and the way sometimes they both disappeared, but you had no idea what it was and definitely didn't think it was this. Not that you're weird about it, not at all – they're your best mates, and they're still your best mates, they're the same people they always were. Sirius is still messy and flirtatious and talks his way out of everything, and Remus is still constantly reading and making sarcastic comments that you almost miss and working harder than the three of you put together and doubled. Just that now, now they've told you, there's nothing hanging in the air any more. You suspect it's been going on since the summer, maybe the end of sixth year, but you haven't asked because it's a stupid question, and it doesn't matter anyway.

They haven't told anyone else, just the three of you, and it wasn't exactly like they came up to you and said it straight out, either. There was that time the four of you were playing that Muggle drinking game Pete taught you, I Have Never or whatever it's called, but you added Veritaserum that you swiped from Potions to the Firewhiskey, and Pete said he had never kissed a bloke, and you and Sirius both had to drink because there was that time at his sixteenth birthday when you gave him shots instead of candles, and then you don't remember much of the rest of the night but there was definitely Sirius' mouth on yours. But then Remus drank his drink too, and you were completely shocked for a minute because Remus had never kissed anyone, you were sure of it, but then it was okay because Pete made some joke about needing to keep up. And then Sirius did tell you, sort of, but not straight out, he just rambled on about thinking maybe he wasn't just into girls, or maybe he didn't really like girls at all, and he didn't look at you and he said it all really fast, and you thought it was just because he was sick of them after Lucy Bromwell and Crystal Merchant nearly tore each others' faces off, but then you realised he meant it so you told him he's still your best mate even if he has a thing for Moony, and he denied it but you convinced him you were fine with it, and now they're dancing and everything's perfect, almost, there's just you and Lily to figure out, and this fucking war coming that's ruining everything.

They were always different, those two, not in a big way, just there was something there. You and Sirius were always brothers, you could fight and insult each other and joke around and nothing would ever change between you, and Pete was the same, but Sirius and Remus never fought, not really, and not just because Remus is so bloody non-confrontational. It just wasn't part of their relationship. They got frustrated with each other, but they never had a full-blown fight. Sirius would throw a quill at Remus, or Remus would hit Sirius with his book, and then they would just laugh and everything would be fine.

The first time you saw them kissing was a little strange, but only because when you're on patrol with your soon-to-be-girlfriend and you find Sirius in a little stairwell you don't expect it to be with Remus, and you don't expect it to be so, so sweet. Lily just smiled in that way that always makes you a little light-headed, and it was obvious she knew all along but then that's Lily, she just knows everything. She's bloody wonderful, that girl. And they both looked really embarrassed, Remus especially, he went really red and couldn't look at you, but you just winked and told them to be safe, and then walked off with Lily. Just as long as you don't walk in on them shagging, you and Pete joked later that evening, but you were serious because the four of you do have some rules, however rebellious you might seem, and one of those rules is that Marauders should never catch each other in, in compromising positions. And as Pete said, it counts doubly for them because they're both Marauders, so to catch one of them at it is to catch the other. Sirius just grinned and said they were good at sneaking around, and he was about to say something else but Moony went slightly red and fiddled with the sleeves of his jumper and muttered something about _boundaries, Sirius, bloody boundaries_ and that made him stop. It makes you realise he's serious, no pun intended, the fact that he doesn't go on about everything like he used to with his girls. Part of it's out of respect for Remus, of course, who's incredibly prudish about that sort of thing, but you're sure it's mainly because he wants to keep it private.

You asked Sirius about it, when he told you he wanted to dance with Moony at the Halloween Ball, you asked him how it was between you, and he smiled – possibly the first time you've ever seen Sirius Black look shy – and said that it was the best thing ever, that everything made more sense to him. And you sort of got what he meant, because that's how Lily makes you feel, especially recently, now that you're getting on so well and you're practically together, you just need to bring it up somehow. You're not sure though, how best to do it, you have a habit of tripping over your words when you're around her, and acting even more like an arrogant berk than usual, which you know from harsh experience will make her pull away, and you'll lose her, and you can't lose her, not now you're so close to having everything you've wanted since you were twelve. You might ask Remus, you think, Remus who knows Lily better than any of you, who's spent years studying with her and patrolling the corridors with her and who has always had the kind of relationship you always wished you had with her, except that they don't shag, obviously. But now you're getting there, you never really fight any more and you enjoy being together, and it's so much easier than you thought it would be. Maybe because after the fiasco in fifth-year, you realised you needed to shape up and got Wormtail to hit you every time you said something Lily wouldn't like, and Moony to show you how to just be her friend, and Pads to take the piss out of you until you didn't see yourself as the greatest thing in the world any more. And it worked, because now you don't have to think, you can just be around her, and you do watch yourself sometimes, but you don't really have to worry because the James you've become is much, much more the kind of boy Lily would like.

You watch them together sometimes, out of the corner of your eye, in class or when they're sitting on Remus' bed or when the four of you are walking somewhere, sometimes without realising you're doing it. And you can see it, you see the way they finish each others' sentences, the way they look at each other, with a slow smile that says there's something only they know, the way they've attuned to each other even more than the four of you already are, and it makes you feel so full of hope that even with all the death and terror going on outside, your best mates still found it in themselves to fall in love and do something about it. You'll talk to Lily tomorrow, you think, because if they can do it, why not you?


End file.
